baby backpack toy image
Jillian
So my son is 8 1/2. His dad and I have been split up for 4 years and I have recently gotten full custody of him. His dad lost visitation for a while but has been gaining that back since November. He (the dad) now lives back with his parents while he gets back on his feet but by him living there- his mom (the grandma) is also there, spending just as much time with our son as the dad does.
She does anything and everything that she can for my son. She will ask him what he wants for dinner and then no matter what he says, she will make sure that's what they cook or order. It doesn't matter if its Chicken and a hamburger and fish, they will make it all. If my son brings his backpack and toys over there, she will carry his toys for him-- my rule is not to bring anything you can't carry.
The arranged days that my son goes over there are Wed overnight and one weekend day overnight and then he goes skiing with them on Thursdays. So he is now spending quite a bit of time with them.
Every time my son comes home, I feel like his manners are just gone. He doesn't clean up after himself. He doesn't say please or thank you. He holds things out or holds his hand out if he wants or doesn't want something... doesn't use his words just tries to hand it off.
His dad has asked grandma to stop coddling our son and let him be more independent but she does what she wants. It is driving me crazy! And my son gets in trouble when he comes home if he isn't using good manners and being respectful...
What can I do!?!
I know I need to talk to her but is that enough!? She hasn't cared or stopped yet in these 8+ years :(
Answer
Talk to his grandmother and talk to your son. Make sure he knows what is acceptable behavior and what you expect of him. For example my little brother, who is also around you son's age, has a friend who is spoiled rotten. Like in me and my brother the age gap between him and his older siblings is about ten years, so he is seen as the baby thus spoiled rotten. When he first started going over there I thought that my brother might pick up on his habits and expect things to just be handed to him, for instance one time my brother told his friend that he was saving up his allowance that he gets for doing small chores around the house, to buy a Lego set well his little friend told him that he shouldn't have to do that, that he should just continue to ask for it until he got it and it's stuff like that he is always telling my brother the things that he should and shouldn't have to do, but we talked to brother and he now understands that things aren't just handed to you, you have to work for them. For instance right now we have a deal going on with my brother, if he can get a 4.0 for this school year we'll buy him a new Lego set, which he is working hard for trying to raise his current grade of a 3.6. So like I said just talk to him before and after he spends time with his grandmother, so he knows how what it is you want from him and talk to your son's father too, make sure you guys are on the same page.
Oh and to that one person I dont see how she is ruining her son's life, a lot of kids grow up with divorced parents and are perfectly fine. All kids really need to while growing up is to feel safe and loved which I'm sure is how her son feels.
Talk to his grandmother and talk to your son. Make sure he knows what is acceptable behavior and what you expect of him. For example my little brother, who is also around you son's age, has a friend who is spoiled rotten. Like in me and my brother the age gap between him and his older siblings is about ten years, so he is seen as the baby thus spoiled rotten. When he first started going over there I thought that my brother might pick up on his habits and expect things to just be handed to him, for instance one time my brother told his friend that he was saving up his allowance that he gets for doing small chores around the house, to buy a Lego set well his little friend told him that he shouldn't have to do that, that he should just continue to ask for it until he got it and it's stuff like that he is always telling my brother the things that he should and shouldn't have to do, but we talked to brother and he now understands that things aren't just handed to you, you have to work for them. For instance right now we have a deal going on with my brother, if he can get a 4.0 for this school year we'll buy him a new Lego set, which he is working hard for trying to raise his current grade of a 3.6. So like I said just talk to him before and after he spends time with his grandmother, so he knows how what it is you want from him and talk to your son's father too, make sure you guys are on the same page.
Oh and to that one person I dont see how she is ruining her son's life, a lot of kids grow up with divorced parents and are perfectly fine. All kids really need to while growing up is to feel safe and loved which I'm sure is how her son feels.
What do I need to have for a new born baby?
mona
I need to know what furniture, clothing, and other necessities to properly bring home my newborn baby.
Answer
You'll find a lot of people recommend things that are nice to have but not necessary. Obviously you need clothes, diapers, wipes, soap/shampoo, car seat, baby nail clippers, and feeding supplies.
Nursing pillows are nice, but any pillow can prop your arm/baby up. Bouncers can help, but didn't work for my son. A crib will eventually be necessary, but a lot of babies are happiest sleeping with Mom or in the car seat for the first few months. Changing tables are easier on your back, but I change my 7 week old on a changing mat that came with my diaper bag. Baby bathtubs are a good idea, but many babies have been bathed in the sink. Diaper warmers are a waste of money.
If you're breastfeeding, a pump can give you some freedom. A swing saved my sanity with both my children. A thermometer can relieve middle of the night worries (ear thermometers work better on older children. A newbon's ear canal is too small for an acurate reading). Along those lines, mylincon drops for gas and baby Tylenol or Motrin (don't wait until you need it). A dresser (you have to put the clothes somewhere), but a cheap rubbermaid set of drawers from Wal-Mart lasted my son for a while. Rattles and other toys will become necessary, but for the first little bit your face will be their favorite thing to look at (along with lights, ceiling fans, and large high contrast objects like furniture and the tv). A sling or some type of baby carrier is a good idea(I have a backpack and a sling and prefer the sling). I don't use my stroller very often, but I'm glad I have it. A baby monitor is necessary if your home is large, but can be useful in a small apartment too (it helps me to be able to relax and not rush my shower). My kids didn't care about a crib mobile at first, but as their vision improved they did like it more. You will need a diaper pail, but at first (until they start solid food) the diapers don't smell too bad and can be thrown in a regular trash can. Many hospitals will give you a free diaper bag (I got 2 with my son). As they grow books will always be a necessity.
You'll find a lot of people recommend things that are nice to have but not necessary. Obviously you need clothes, diapers, wipes, soap/shampoo, car seat, baby nail clippers, and feeding supplies.
Nursing pillows are nice, but any pillow can prop your arm/baby up. Bouncers can help, but didn't work for my son. A crib will eventually be necessary, but a lot of babies are happiest sleeping with Mom or in the car seat for the first few months. Changing tables are easier on your back, but I change my 7 week old on a changing mat that came with my diaper bag. Baby bathtubs are a good idea, but many babies have been bathed in the sink. Diaper warmers are a waste of money.
If you're breastfeeding, a pump can give you some freedom. A swing saved my sanity with both my children. A thermometer can relieve middle of the night worries (ear thermometers work better on older children. A newbon's ear canal is too small for an acurate reading). Along those lines, mylincon drops for gas and baby Tylenol or Motrin (don't wait until you need it). A dresser (you have to put the clothes somewhere), but a cheap rubbermaid set of drawers from Wal-Mart lasted my son for a while. Rattles and other toys will become necessary, but for the first little bit your face will be their favorite thing to look at (along with lights, ceiling fans, and large high contrast objects like furniture and the tv). A sling or some type of baby carrier is a good idea(I have a backpack and a sling and prefer the sling). I don't use my stroller very often, but I'm glad I have it. A baby monitor is necessary if your home is large, but can be useful in a small apartment too (it helps me to be able to relax and not rush my shower). My kids didn't care about a crib mobile at first, but as their vision improved they did like it more. You will need a diaper pail, but at first (until they start solid food) the diapers don't smell too bad and can be thrown in a regular trash can. Many hospitals will give you a free diaper bag (I got 2 with my son). As they grow books will always be a necessity.
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Title Post: How should I handle my son's grandmother who insists on coddling my 8 1/2 year old boy?
Rating: 96% based on 987 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
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Rating: 96% based on 987 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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