Q. Is it 'bad parenting' or 'unacceptable' to leave an 18 year old at home alone for a night? Do I really need a babysitter at 18? I really think its ridiculous but how can I convince my Uncle, Mother and Grandmother, that it is? I really do not think it is necessary when I can legally vote, drink, drive and even be a stripper if I so desired. I do not even live in a dangerous are. Please I need some advice!
In Australia we can legally drink at 18.
I have no reason for my mum not to trust me. I'm talking I only go out ocaasionally, don't do anything majorly bad, straight A kinda student.
My dad think I can be left home alone.
My mum thinks its highly likely the house will get broken into and I'll get 'stabbed or raped', no joke.
And I wouldn't ever be a stripper, I was just cross
I can't get a reason out of my mum or grandmother other than 'im just not comfortable'. I see my uncle once a year at xmas, pretty much no other contact. My family makes a joke of how they wish they could clone me, cos none else in the family cousins etc couldnt be better behaved. I look after my disabled brother on weekends, have held one job for nearly three years and am expected to the the most responsible and grown up one around and yet I'm not allowed to stay home alone, even though its not my my mothers house
Uh just to clear things up
1. Im a girl, Sorry to the ones asking. haha
2. My parents HATE each other with a passion, spilt when I was 14
In Australia we can legally drink at 18.
I have no reason for my mum not to trust me. I'm talking I only go out ocaasionally, don't do anything majorly bad, straight A kinda student.
My dad think I can be left home alone.
My mum thinks its highly likely the house will get broken into and I'll get 'stabbed or raped', no joke.
And I wouldn't ever be a stripper, I was just cross
I can't get a reason out of my mum or grandmother other than 'im just not comfortable'. I see my uncle once a year at xmas, pretty much no other contact. My family makes a joke of how they wish they could clone me, cos none else in the family cousins etc couldnt be better behaved. I look after my disabled brother on weekends, have held one job for nearly three years and am expected to the the most responsible and grown up one around and yet I'm not allowed to stay home alone, even though its not my my mothers house
Uh just to clear things up
1. Im a girl, Sorry to the ones asking. haha
2. My parents HATE each other with a passion, spilt when I was 14
Answer
Well, at 18 I was living out of home with my then boyfriend (now husband) and backpacking overseas.
I wouldn't say 'bad parenting' but I don't see how it is necessary. Esp when allot of babysitters people hire are teens themselves.
You are an adult now, so you need to talk to your parents about this as an adult.... you know calmly and quietly..
Whatever yo do don't say 'this is unfair' because 'kids' always say that, instead use 'unreasonable'.. because from what I can see (there may be more details etc that affect your parents judgment) it is.
Well, at 18 I was living out of home with my then boyfriend (now husband) and backpacking overseas.
I wouldn't say 'bad parenting' but I don't see how it is necessary. Esp when allot of babysitters people hire are teens themselves.
You are an adult now, so you need to talk to your parents about this as an adult.... you know calmly and quietly..
Whatever yo do don't say 'this is unfair' because 'kids' always say that, instead use 'unreasonable'.. because from what I can see (there may be more details etc that affect your parents judgment) it is.
Can I start a career after having a baby as a single mom?
Danceuse86
I'm 25 years old, with a university degree, speak 4 languages fluently and lots of other qualifications/experience. I have to admitt that I have an impressive resume. Here's the situation though: I've been backpacking through Australia for the past year with my boyfriend, who's from the US (I'm from Canada.) We just found out that I'm pregnant and have decided to keep the baby. I move back to Canada in March, and my baby is due in August. I'll have to use the time in between to find a place to live, and a casual job to hold me over until I can get a real job at some point after the baby's born (I don't want to risk searching before because I'll be so large and that could affect my chances.) I have plenty of savings, so money shouldn't be too much of a concern for a while. The father of the baby is also supportive and will be there financially and so are my friends/family. I'm excited to be a mommy, but am worried that since I'll mainly be raising it alone, it'll be hard for me to kick start a career after the baby comes.
Has anyone else ever started a career under tough circumstances like this one? Any advice/suggestions well appreciated! Thanks. xx
Answer
Can you work online as a translator among your four languages? Working from home would be ideal for you, at least for the next year or so.
You did not mention the kind of career you want. Would it require full-time or even abnormally long work weeks? If so, I hope it pays enough so that you can hire a nanny or daycare.
If you will live in an English speaking part of Canada, maybe you can find a French speaking nanny/daycare (or one speaking an exotic yet useful language like Mandarin or Arabic). If you will live in a French speaking area, you could hire a nanny/daycare speaking either English or one of those exotic languages. That way, the child learns all the languages from the youngest possible age.
When you say you will "mainly be raising it alone", does that mean the father will seldom see the child in person? If so, discuss with your boyfriend having him video chat with his child, like via Skype over the Internet. Virtual interaction is better than a phone call, I'm guessing.
This might seem off-topic, but I think you should speak neither English nor French to your child. I assume that, in Canada, he or she will learn both of those languages via school, television, other kids, maybe a nanny, etc. You could speak one of your other languages to him/her one day, then another language the next day, then switch back to that first language on the third day, then back to that second language on the fourth day, etc. In other words, just endlessly alternate between the two languages from day to day. Your child deserves the multilingual advantage that you have!
To set up yourself and your child for success, you should do some homework. Good parenting requires forethought. Be sure to read plenty of books on parenting, think about what they all say, but don't accept on faith any single thing that a book says.
Here are some random ideas I have:
I wonder whether acting and public speaking lessons would be valuable for an older kid. That would really help his self-presentation, I'm guessing.
Another example: don't just order him to do his school work because it's required. At the start of each semester, look at a list of classes he's taking. Sell him on the value of each course subject - how exactly will it be helpful. You might have to search on Google/whatever for something like "math motivation" to get ideas for how to sell the benefits of a subject. Unfortunately, schools and teachers seldom sell kids on the value of trying to learn what they teach.
When he's old enough, have him try lots of different activities (hobbies; clubs and elective classes at school). Explain the various reasons why each activity is worthwhile:
* Develop skills he can use in life
* Figure out what career he'll probably be good at and excited about
* Be a more interesting person, especially to people who are interested in that activity
* Get practice with difficult technical subjects, to be better prepared when trying to learn them in college or on the job. Some subjects are difficult enough that it will be very helpful to have been exposed to them before and to have a lot of practice.
Some parents only pressure their kids to go to college and then get a particular kind of job; I wonder whether parents should suggest exploring less common alternatives. For instance, it might be good to somehow encourage entrepreneurial thinking, living and working overseas, and whatever other nontraditional paths you can think of. I don't know how to sell kids on those kinds of ideas, but it seems worth trying. I think that preparing for life is even more important than preparing for college.
Still another aspect of leadership is responding to problems that come up. A couple examples:
1) If your child is anxious or has social difficulties, don't just ignore it or give up if you can't figure out how to help. Hire a family counselor or child psychologist.
2) If your child does not understand a particular school subject fully, hire a tutor. Even if he/she currently has an A grade, this might be valuable if homework or tests show wrong answers that he/she cannot explain. This has a side benefit of teaching the child to seek outside academic help when needed, rather than accepting poor performance.
Can you work online as a translator among your four languages? Working from home would be ideal for you, at least for the next year or so.
You did not mention the kind of career you want. Would it require full-time or even abnormally long work weeks? If so, I hope it pays enough so that you can hire a nanny or daycare.
If you will live in an English speaking part of Canada, maybe you can find a French speaking nanny/daycare (or one speaking an exotic yet useful language like Mandarin or Arabic). If you will live in a French speaking area, you could hire a nanny/daycare speaking either English or one of those exotic languages. That way, the child learns all the languages from the youngest possible age.
When you say you will "mainly be raising it alone", does that mean the father will seldom see the child in person? If so, discuss with your boyfriend having him video chat with his child, like via Skype over the Internet. Virtual interaction is better than a phone call, I'm guessing.
This might seem off-topic, but I think you should speak neither English nor French to your child. I assume that, in Canada, he or she will learn both of those languages via school, television, other kids, maybe a nanny, etc. You could speak one of your other languages to him/her one day, then another language the next day, then switch back to that first language on the third day, then back to that second language on the fourth day, etc. In other words, just endlessly alternate between the two languages from day to day. Your child deserves the multilingual advantage that you have!
To set up yourself and your child for success, you should do some homework. Good parenting requires forethought. Be sure to read plenty of books on parenting, think about what they all say, but don't accept on faith any single thing that a book says.
Here are some random ideas I have:
I wonder whether acting and public speaking lessons would be valuable for an older kid. That would really help his self-presentation, I'm guessing.
Another example: don't just order him to do his school work because it's required. At the start of each semester, look at a list of classes he's taking. Sell him on the value of each course subject - how exactly will it be helpful. You might have to search on Google/whatever for something like "math motivation" to get ideas for how to sell the benefits of a subject. Unfortunately, schools and teachers seldom sell kids on the value of trying to learn what they teach.
When he's old enough, have him try lots of different activities (hobbies; clubs and elective classes at school). Explain the various reasons why each activity is worthwhile:
* Develop skills he can use in life
* Figure out what career he'll probably be good at and excited about
* Be a more interesting person, especially to people who are interested in that activity
* Get practice with difficult technical subjects, to be better prepared when trying to learn them in college or on the job. Some subjects are difficult enough that it will be very helpful to have been exposed to them before and to have a lot of practice.
Some parents only pressure their kids to go to college and then get a particular kind of job; I wonder whether parents should suggest exploring less common alternatives. For instance, it might be good to somehow encourage entrepreneurial thinking, living and working overseas, and whatever other nontraditional paths you can think of. I don't know how to sell kids on those kinds of ideas, but it seems worth trying. I think that preparing for life is even more important than preparing for college.
Still another aspect of leadership is responding to problems that come up. A couple examples:
1) If your child is anxious or has social difficulties, don't just ignore it or give up if you can't figure out how to help. Hire a family counselor or child psychologist.
2) If your child does not understand a particular school subject fully, hire a tutor. Even if he/she currently has an A grade, this might be valuable if homework or tests show wrong answers that he/she cannot explain. This has a side benefit of teaching the child to seek outside academic help when needed, rather than accepting poor performance.
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Title Post: Being baby sat at 18?
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