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Make heads
I'm terrified of getting married. I don't know if it's because I have hard time trusting people. I can't imagine spending my life with one person because I know I get bored fast. I hate being tied down because I'm free spirited. Every day is like an adventure. The guys I've been with been with in the past acted like they wanted me to be their mother instead of girlfriend and I am NOT having that. It's all the guys I've met recently are looking for either their next "baby momma" or need a place to stay.My family believes it's because I haven't found "the one," yet. I'm 28 yrs old btw. If I do get married, I wish I could be like my grandparents. They were like best buds and they loved each other so much. I have never seen a couple love each other that much. They were together for 52 years until my grandfather passed 7 years ago. My grandmother was very heart broken since he was her first love when she met him at the age of 16. If I do get married I want to be with a person who is my best friend as well as my lover.
My grandparents got married within 3 months of knowing each other.
Answer
It is still very possible for your partner to be your best friend and lover. I found one. =)
I don't blame you for still being in the "free spirit" stage of your life, because you're still pretty young. I'm 29, and hubby and I don't want to adopt kids for at least another 6 years because we're still in our "selfish" phase... we want to just live as a couple, do what we want when we want, spend our disposable income on what we want, focus on careers, etc. Eventually I know we will change, and the things that are important to us now will be less important in the future. That's just how life is. Your needs and wants evolve.
Also, I agree with your family. I also think that somehow, you're getting exposed to the wrong kind of guy. There are guys who want adventure in their lives. The right one for you might be backpacking in India right now, who knows? Are you putting yourself in a position to meet these guys? Like joining a running group, or a sailing club, or taking volunteer vacations? Mind you, you shouldn't LOOK for a boyfriend... just be open to an interesting guy if he happens to catch your fancy.
Oh, btw... even the most mature guys have to be "mothered" on occasion. I love my husband, but he always loses things and I somehow always know where they are, and other times he utterly fails to notice the obvious. It's aggravating. But at the same time, he has to put up with my PMS moodiness and throwing the occasional temper tantrum when I've overly stressed. Fair's fair in love and marriage. ;)
It is still very possible for your partner to be your best friend and lover. I found one. =)
I don't blame you for still being in the "free spirit" stage of your life, because you're still pretty young. I'm 29, and hubby and I don't want to adopt kids for at least another 6 years because we're still in our "selfish" phase... we want to just live as a couple, do what we want when we want, spend our disposable income on what we want, focus on careers, etc. Eventually I know we will change, and the things that are important to us now will be less important in the future. That's just how life is. Your needs and wants evolve.
Also, I agree with your family. I also think that somehow, you're getting exposed to the wrong kind of guy. There are guys who want adventure in their lives. The right one for you might be backpacking in India right now, who knows? Are you putting yourself in a position to meet these guys? Like joining a running group, or a sailing club, or taking volunteer vacations? Mind you, you shouldn't LOOK for a boyfriend... just be open to an interesting guy if he happens to catch your fancy.
Oh, btw... even the most mature guys have to be "mothered" on occasion. I love my husband, but he always loses things and I somehow always know where they are, and other times he utterly fails to notice the obvious. It's aggravating. But at the same time, he has to put up with my PMS moodiness and throwing the occasional temper tantrum when I've overly stressed. Fair's fair in love and marriage. ;)
Why don't americans travel more?
Beth S
Many Europeans strap on the 'ol backpack and go travel the world between high school and college...its cheap, exciting and a great way to learn about the world, learn languages and other cultures...
Addendum: Internationally, like india, or ecuador...
As an example: Looks as if you can get ticket from denver to Guatemala for $300, and hotels are 2-10 dollars a night, or this spanish school www.casarosario.com for 70$ a week room and classes...
Hah, Ok cheap part: Meals are 1-3 dollars, bus fare is 7 dollars from one end of the country to the other...Thailand, Cambodia, Peru, all similar...
Answer
As Q states, yes, some of the best places to travel and learn about culture and history are in Europe and Asia, and if you're European, you're already there! You say it's cheap, but do you even realize how expensive it is for us? We would all love to vacation more, but in Europe most employers allow a significant amount of holiday time each year. I have heard that in France most people are on holiday a minimum of 2 months out of the year. Over here the vast majority of employers only permit 2 weeks of vacation a year, and if you try and schedule more time off it can cost you your job. I think you are taking for granted what a luxury a vacation is, and that we do not have the same privileges in The United States.
EDIT: Last time I checked, India is in Asia, and fits into my original argument. My point is just as valid for Ecuador. The cheapest airfare I can find from San Francisco, California (my area) to Quito, Equador is $774 per person. That is airfare alone, without any accommodations. Taken from a website that calculates geographic distance: "The straight line distance between San Francisco and Quito / Mariscal Sucre is approximately 3833 miles or 6169 kilometers." I'm sorry, but with a family of 4, rent of $1100 a month, and a car note of $520 a month (just a few of our responsibilities), this is just NOT in the budget!
Santa Baby also makes an excellent point about the sheer size of the US. I don't think many Europeans really understand how enormous this country is. In fact, the state of California alone is so large that every year at the same time we will have the coldest temperature (Truckee) and the hottest temperature (Death Valley) in the continental US simultaneously.
As Q states, yes, some of the best places to travel and learn about culture and history are in Europe and Asia, and if you're European, you're already there! You say it's cheap, but do you even realize how expensive it is for us? We would all love to vacation more, but in Europe most employers allow a significant amount of holiday time each year. I have heard that in France most people are on holiday a minimum of 2 months out of the year. Over here the vast majority of employers only permit 2 weeks of vacation a year, and if you try and schedule more time off it can cost you your job. I think you are taking for granted what a luxury a vacation is, and that we do not have the same privileges in The United States.
EDIT: Last time I checked, India is in Asia, and fits into my original argument. My point is just as valid for Ecuador. The cheapest airfare I can find from San Francisco, California (my area) to Quito, Equador is $774 per person. That is airfare alone, without any accommodations. Taken from a website that calculates geographic distance: "The straight line distance between San Francisco and Quito / Mariscal Sucre is approximately 3833 miles or 6169 kilometers." I'm sorry, but with a family of 4, rent of $1100 a month, and a car note of $520 a month (just a few of our responsibilities), this is just NOT in the budget!
Santa Baby also makes an excellent point about the sheer size of the US. I don't think many Europeans really understand how enormous this country is. In fact, the state of California alone is so large that every year at the same time we will have the coldest temperature (Truckee) and the hottest temperature (Death Valley) in the continental US simultaneously.
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Title Post: What does it mean to get married for the wrong reasons?
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Rating: 96% based on 987 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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