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Dawn
I am 38, mother of 4, and 3 step children (all living with me ages 2-17). I have a supportive family, but have been battling depression for almost 20 years if not longer. My dad was an alcoholic vietnam vet so I know I have a touch of secondhand PT SD due to the alcohol and guns. Been to many Dr's. for treatment all to no avail. 2 hospital stays (one due to cutting in depressed state) and other for vicodin addiction (the only thing that ever kept me from being depressed and feeling happy and energetic). Now on Pristiq, adderal xr, and today dr. wants to add wellbutrin (been on it already). I feel so hopeless to the point I wonder if I am actually going crazy. No dr has given me an exact diagnosis..just more pills. Esp, the week before my cycle, is SO bad. I visualize killing myself, think about what I would write in suicide notes to my kids, etc..I cry and get angry. I would never do that to my babies. It feels like my soul is in a constant state of torment and I want to feel better for myself and children. I feel foggy headed half of the time waiting for the next time " I don't feel right"..can anyone relate? I have been to psychiatrists, therapists, Dr's for the last 10 years. I feel I truly am mentally exhausted and the stress of raising these kids with a husband working his butt off just to pay bills is crazy. Sometimes I feel like such a bad mother, a loser, for thinking such bad thoughts but sometimes I can't get them out of my head, esp. at night.
Please don't be mean and leave nasty comments for fun....this is very serious to me. I am in such a bad spot and feel like I can't get out.
Answer
Dawn,
Who wouldn't feel stressed and depressed in your situation? I admire you for accepting such a huge job. Obviously you are a special person, and very loving. Look at the job you accepted! And a big one it is.
Meds can make you fuzzy-headed, adding to your challenge. So, even while you're struggling to make 9 breakfasts, you're walking through molassas with every move. And you fight on. Diapers, sports practice, homework in the backpacks, packing lunches. Breakfast zooms to bedtime while you're still trying to find a moment of sunshine to bask in!
It's hard to see the rainbow when clouds are covering the sky. And you so need to see the sky. Some depression is situational, what my medical doctor calls "life stuff". Some is from brain chemicals -the annoying tiny little amounts of this and that that run from nerve to nerve sometimes kicking the nerve's tires, and sometimes soothing it back to sleep. If only it would do what we want it to do!
My personal recommendations come from my own experience, not from education. Keep talking to counselors. If one isn't good for you, go on to the next one. If you don't like the counselor, or feel like you can relate to him or her, you won't do the work you need to do to find that spot in the sun for your cat nap.
Keep a gratitude journal. Oprah started it, and millions have discovered it's power. At the end of each day you open your journal, write 5 things, no matter how small, that you are grateful for. Review it every so often.
When you are angry or depressed, find something else to focus on. Your children are an excellent thing to think about. You can pick up a book to read to the little ones, or do some art with any of them. Do something wonderful for your husband. These may seem unnaturally selfless, but doing something good for others pays you back with good brain chemicals.
Just when you are feeling so frazzled by endless work, take a walk. Sounds like the last thing you'd need at that moment, but it works. See if you can find another mom who'd like a break on occasion to exchange with. You watch her kids while she takes a quiet, healthy walk. Then she watches yours while you take a quiet, healthy walk.
These stratedgies really do help you feel better. Some take longer than others to get results, but you will get results. Keep your success in mind. When you are feeling morose, tell yourself to stop that, then deliberately think of something positive. It takes practice, but you'll get better with it over time.
If you need someone to talk to when you are feeling down, drop me a line through my profile here at Yahoo! Answers.
Dawn,
Who wouldn't feel stressed and depressed in your situation? I admire you for accepting such a huge job. Obviously you are a special person, and very loving. Look at the job you accepted! And a big one it is.
Meds can make you fuzzy-headed, adding to your challenge. So, even while you're struggling to make 9 breakfasts, you're walking through molassas with every move. And you fight on. Diapers, sports practice, homework in the backpacks, packing lunches. Breakfast zooms to bedtime while you're still trying to find a moment of sunshine to bask in!
It's hard to see the rainbow when clouds are covering the sky. And you so need to see the sky. Some depression is situational, what my medical doctor calls "life stuff". Some is from brain chemicals -the annoying tiny little amounts of this and that that run from nerve to nerve sometimes kicking the nerve's tires, and sometimes soothing it back to sleep. If only it would do what we want it to do!
My personal recommendations come from my own experience, not from education. Keep talking to counselors. If one isn't good for you, go on to the next one. If you don't like the counselor, or feel like you can relate to him or her, you won't do the work you need to do to find that spot in the sun for your cat nap.
Keep a gratitude journal. Oprah started it, and millions have discovered it's power. At the end of each day you open your journal, write 5 things, no matter how small, that you are grateful for. Review it every so often.
When you are angry or depressed, find something else to focus on. Your children are an excellent thing to think about. You can pick up a book to read to the little ones, or do some art with any of them. Do something wonderful for your husband. These may seem unnaturally selfless, but doing something good for others pays you back with good brain chemicals.
Just when you are feeling so frazzled by endless work, take a walk. Sounds like the last thing you'd need at that moment, but it works. See if you can find another mom who'd like a break on occasion to exchange with. You watch her kids while she takes a quiet, healthy walk. Then she watches yours while you take a quiet, healthy walk.
These stratedgies really do help you feel better. Some take longer than others to get results, but you will get results. Keep your success in mind. When you are feeling morose, tell yourself to stop that, then deliberately think of something positive. It takes practice, but you'll get better with it over time.
If you need someone to talk to when you are feeling down, drop me a line through my profile here at Yahoo! Answers.
Double Stroller Necessary?
TLT
I have a son (pretty well behaved) who turns 3 in September. I am expecting a little girl in the beginning of October.
I was hoping to avoid using the double stroller. The storller I have will take her carseat and has a small stand on the back that my son can stand on.
I was wondering if you (or anyone you know) has kids around these ages and if you use a double stroller or not. Are you glad you choose to (or not to) purchase one?
I was thinking of maybe getting a double umbrella stroller. Do they make them? Have you tried them? Please help and keep in mind I am on a fairly small budget which is why I want to try and make a decision soon so I can save up a bit.
Answer
I was going to get one for my children, since they had about the same age spread as yours, but, about the time my second was born, my oldest decided she wanted to walk. Sure, she threw a fit about the baby having the stroller, but she would only stay in it for 5-10 minutes before she wanted to walk.
I also considered the stand-on strollers, but opted out of these as well because my oldest would outgrow them so quickly.
I ended up using my single stroller, and just kept reminding my oldest that she needed to "help me push" by holding onto the side. When the baby decided, at about 20 months, that she didn't want to ride in the stroller either, or hold my hand, for that matter, I was really glad I didn't go to the expense.
I traded the diaper bag for a backpack, attached ribbon in a loop on both straps, and now they walk with me holding on to the loops, and gave up my stroller. They are both pretty good about not letting go. For longer walks, I use a wagon, where one or the other "helps" me pull it more often than not.
I should add, though, that I am not a big mall goer, or a fitness walker. Our big trips include the zoo and the science museum, which are not nearly as crowded as the typical mall. If you do go to crowded places a lot, you may want to buy one of those backpack harnesses for your son, kinda like a leash, just to make sure he stays close and doesn't get separated for you. The kids I know who have these think they are the coolest thing, because they look just like a stuffed animal backpack.
As to your question about double umbrella strollers, they do make them, but they are really hard to find. When I was looking, they cost a pretty penny, but not as much as a typical double stroller. The reviews I read made it sound like they don't handle as well, and they might be too little for your son.
I was going to get one for my children, since they had about the same age spread as yours, but, about the time my second was born, my oldest decided she wanted to walk. Sure, she threw a fit about the baby having the stroller, but she would only stay in it for 5-10 minutes before she wanted to walk.
I also considered the stand-on strollers, but opted out of these as well because my oldest would outgrow them so quickly.
I ended up using my single stroller, and just kept reminding my oldest that she needed to "help me push" by holding onto the side. When the baby decided, at about 20 months, that she didn't want to ride in the stroller either, or hold my hand, for that matter, I was really glad I didn't go to the expense.
I traded the diaper bag for a backpack, attached ribbon in a loop on both straps, and now they walk with me holding on to the loops, and gave up my stroller. They are both pretty good about not letting go. For longer walks, I use a wagon, where one or the other "helps" me pull it more often than not.
I should add, though, that I am not a big mall goer, or a fitness walker. Our big trips include the zoo and the science museum, which are not nearly as crowded as the typical mall. If you do go to crowded places a lot, you may want to buy one of those backpack harnesses for your son, kinda like a leash, just to make sure he stays close and doesn't get separated for you. The kids I know who have these think they are the coolest thing, because they look just like a stuffed animal backpack.
As to your question about double umbrella strollers, they do make them, but they are really hard to find. When I was looking, they cost a pretty penny, but not as much as a typical double stroller. The reviews I read made it sound like they don't handle as well, and they might be too little for your son.
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Title Post: Why is it that when my depression acts up I can't stop thinking about suicide and weird thoughts?
Rating: 96% based on 987 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
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Rating: 96% based on 987 ratings. 4,7 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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