baby backpack carriers for sale image
sfhc21
As soon as you pick her up and start walking around, everything is fine. She smiles, laughs. But as soon as you put her down, she starts crying and won't stop till you pick her up. From what I've seen, there are two answers:
1. You can't spoil a child. Keep holding her..
2. You are spoling her too much. Set her down and let her cry.
Both sides are extreme...To me, it seems there needs to be a balance. So what's the solution from some of you in the middle. How did you get through this time?
Answer
Well the middle ground is to a) use a baby carrier so you have your hands free or b) find something to amuse the baby such as a jolly jumper, swing, bouncer, exersaucer, gym, arch, toys, or even yes if it is a choice between this and your sanity TV/videos.
And I know it is cliche but this will pass soon. Soon she will be crawling/scooting/rolling/more easily grab things and able to entertain herself for short periods of time.
If she has good head control which usually happens at 4 months then you can use a backpack carrier and things like the jolly jumper (or whatever it's called in the US jumperoo?)
And it isn't true that if you don't force them to be independent they will be clingy. Lots of studies have proven that attachment parenting where you do carry them around almost all the time, and co sleep until they choose not to causes kids to be more independent. I know I rarely put my son down and now that he can walk and crawl he wants nothing to do with me. *lol* Except when it's time to feed.
Think about it this way:
If you are on a diet and you tell yourself no more chocolate (or whatever your favourite food is). And you don't have it in the house and you go without it for weeks how often do you think about chocolate. How often do you want it. Then one day you have some, how much do you eat?
Then let's say a different time you go to the day after Valentine's Day sale and you buy more chocolate than you could reasonably eat. It's in your closet for gifts, there is an open box or two. Sure at first you may eat a fair bit, but quickly you stop thinking about it all the time, you eat less of it, you may even get sick of it and not want it all together.
If you "fill up" your daughter's need for contact now then she won't need as much later. She won't feel that she has to test all the time to make sure you are there and will hold her. She knows you will. She knows every time she needs you there you are, so why test it? Does this mean you have to make yourself miserable NO. You need to find a balance that works for BOTH of you. Balance YOUR needs vs HER needs. Can I tell you what that balance is? Nope. I'm not you and I have never met your daughter.
Find the balance, find what works and you won't have a clingy child because of it. Can I guarantee at 9 months she'll walk away and rarely look back, no. Because she is her and my son is himself. But I do promise she will learn Independence and self-soothing in her own time, just as she learned to smile, and laugh, blow kisses and clap. Yes you need to provide opportunities to learn. Some AP mommas go too far and will never put their kids down even when their child wants to learn to crawl or play with that neat toy when they are 8, 9, or sometimes a year old. But if you take a balanced approach filling her up without wearing you out that will be the optimal thing for her and you and she will get there at the right time for her, rather than be clingy because of over-indulgence or under-attention.
Well the middle ground is to a) use a baby carrier so you have your hands free or b) find something to amuse the baby such as a jolly jumper, swing, bouncer, exersaucer, gym, arch, toys, or even yes if it is a choice between this and your sanity TV/videos.
And I know it is cliche but this will pass soon. Soon she will be crawling/scooting/rolling/more easily grab things and able to entertain herself for short periods of time.
If she has good head control which usually happens at 4 months then you can use a backpack carrier and things like the jolly jumper (or whatever it's called in the US jumperoo?)
And it isn't true that if you don't force them to be independent they will be clingy. Lots of studies have proven that attachment parenting where you do carry them around almost all the time, and co sleep until they choose not to causes kids to be more independent. I know I rarely put my son down and now that he can walk and crawl he wants nothing to do with me. *lol* Except when it's time to feed.
Think about it this way:
If you are on a diet and you tell yourself no more chocolate (or whatever your favourite food is). And you don't have it in the house and you go without it for weeks how often do you think about chocolate. How often do you want it. Then one day you have some, how much do you eat?
Then let's say a different time you go to the day after Valentine's Day sale and you buy more chocolate than you could reasonably eat. It's in your closet for gifts, there is an open box or two. Sure at first you may eat a fair bit, but quickly you stop thinking about it all the time, you eat less of it, you may even get sick of it and not want it all together.
If you "fill up" your daughter's need for contact now then she won't need as much later. She won't feel that she has to test all the time to make sure you are there and will hold her. She knows you will. She knows every time she needs you there you are, so why test it? Does this mean you have to make yourself miserable NO. You need to find a balance that works for BOTH of you. Balance YOUR needs vs HER needs. Can I tell you what that balance is? Nope. I'm not you and I have never met your daughter.
Find the balance, find what works and you won't have a clingy child because of it. Can I guarantee at 9 months she'll walk away and rarely look back, no. Because she is her and my son is himself. But I do promise she will learn Independence and self-soothing in her own time, just as she learned to smile, and laugh, blow kisses and clap. Yes you need to provide opportunities to learn. Some AP mommas go too far and will never put their kids down even when their child wants to learn to crawl or play with that neat toy when they are 8, 9, or sometimes a year old. But if you take a balanced approach filling her up without wearing you out that will be the optimal thing for her and you and she will get there at the right time for her, rather than be clingy because of over-indulgence or under-attention.
what to buy for my baby?
natalia m
This is my first child and i have 4 months to go. and i dont know what to buy and where to start please help me.
Answer
Two absolute NECESSITIES, from my experience with my six babies:
*Start with a NEW carseat-- don't accept a used one unless you can be 100% sure of its past; that it's never been in an accident of any sort (even fender benders), never been dropped, etc. Also, carseats expire after about 5-6 years (read each seat's manual to check), after which time the harness may not be reliable, especially after years of drool/spitup/juice spills/etc. weakening the fibers. The plastics in the frame can also break down, have structural weaknesses not visible to the eye, etc. If the seat has been stored in a shed or garage, with large variations in heat and cold, dryness and dampness, it could be even more unreliable. So please, if there's any way you can afford it, buy a NEW carseat, and check the manufacture date on the box and seat itself for a recent one, so you don't waste money on a carseat that's been sitting on the shelf already for 2 years. For more info, go to http://www.car-seat.org . This a great website for car safety info and suggestions on buying the right carseat for your needs. :)
*a good, comfortable baby carrier, such as a sling-style carrier, mei-tai, or wrap-style:
http://www.carryingaway.com.au/Default.asp?Redirected=Y
(A website with lots of info on different style carriers, it can help you figure out which one fits your needs best.) Wearning your baby during the early months is a great way to meet baby's needs for closeness & frequent nursing, while enhancing bonding and allowing mom the freedom to accomplish more than just baby care. :) A good carrier, IMO, is THE essestial piece of baby equipment, because you are going to spend an unbelievable amount of time over the next two years with a baby in your arms! ;)
After that, the necessities are pretty simple:
*diapers, either cloth or disposable, or both if you want to give both a try; wipes, either commercial ones, or plain soft cloths you can wet with plain water and/or a homemade gentle cleansing solution (search online for "homemade wipes solution" if interested)
*a foam pad or mesh "bouncy chair-like" seat for tub baths (infant baths are pretty much useless IME)
*clothes appropriate for the season; snap-crotch tees (onesie style), light socks, sweater, lightweight pants outfits, shorts or dresses, sun hat, diaper/swimsuit if you plan on swimming/water play, caps for indoors in A/C, etc. You don't need nearly as much as the books say-- maybe 5-6 onesies, 6-8 daytime outfits, 4-6 pj's, etc. Do buy lots of socks though because they seem to disappear easily.... ??
*burp cloths, which can be as simple as you like (plain white diapers) or as fancy, but anything absorbent will do.
*lightweight blanket to cover the carseat and offer shade from the sun, while in the car, or walking through parking lots, etc.
*about 4-6 receiving blankets for swaddling during the newborn stage
*baby nail clippers-- they are much safer & gentler on soft baby nails than adult clippers
*bulb syringe (nose sucker)-- the hospital will probably give you the one they use on your baby in the hospital, so don't go buy one until you're sure you need it.
*a sturdy bag to use as a diaper bag, whether it's specialized for babies and diapers, or simply a great bag that will hold up to a lot of abuse and wear & tear. My all-time favorite was a cheap $10 black leather backpack I picked up at Walgreen's on sale. It had a huge main compartment for diapers, wipes, & change of clothes, and several smaller pockets & pouches for the other baby care items I always kept on-hand.
Almost everything else can wait until after baby arrives, and you settle in and see what you really need, what you'll actually use, and then cross of the list all of those extra non-essentials that the rest of the world seems to be unable to live or raise a baby without, such as a crib, bassinett, playpen, swing, bouncy/vibrating/musical seat, stroller....
Our crib became obsolete when we decided early on that the baby would sleep in bed with us. A bassinett was useful occasionally to have someplace moveable to put the baby for naps, and could move it room to room, but I can't say whether we used it enough to make it worth the $$. Same with swings, playpens, baby seats, etc. They came in handy sometimes, especially with the babies who seemed to be more fussy than others (you can't hold them 24/7 after all), but they definitely were NOT something I would worry about spending money on *before* baby arrives. Once baby is here, you can get to know him/her, see what their personality is like, how high the baby's needs are for holding & comfort, etc. Then you can decide which of these accessories you really need. Maybe even borrow one from someone else to try out first before wasting $$ on something the baby doesn't even like.
I'm pretty much a minimalist; I don't believe in a lot of the bells & whistles that are on the market for babies these days, although some of them have their place and can come in handy. I would rather give my babies human contact & interaction, to stimulate them myself rather than have mobiles and blinky-light noisemakers do it instead.
Please also consider breastfeeding; not only will it save you tons of $$ on bottle paraphernalia, not to mention the formula itself, but I'm sure you already know that it is the healthiest thing for both you & baby as well. :) If you are interested, you should know that the best way to ensure that breastfeeding goes well is to educate yourself as much as possible before the birth, and to get a support system in place ahead of time so you can feel comfortable calling someone for help/support once your baby arrives. It's a lot easier to call someone you've met & have gotten to know to ask your nursing questions, than to decide to pick up the phone and call a complete stranger once things have *really* gotten bad. La Leche League meetings offer a wonderful opportunity for both-- information/education *plus* a support system. You can locate a LLL group/leader near you by either calling 1-800-LA LECHE, or checking their website here:
http://www.llli.org/webindex.html
Congratulations and best of luck! I hope this has been helpful to you!
Two absolute NECESSITIES, from my experience with my six babies:
*Start with a NEW carseat-- don't accept a used one unless you can be 100% sure of its past; that it's never been in an accident of any sort (even fender benders), never been dropped, etc. Also, carseats expire after about 5-6 years (read each seat's manual to check), after which time the harness may not be reliable, especially after years of drool/spitup/juice spills/etc. weakening the fibers. The plastics in the frame can also break down, have structural weaknesses not visible to the eye, etc. If the seat has been stored in a shed or garage, with large variations in heat and cold, dryness and dampness, it could be even more unreliable. So please, if there's any way you can afford it, buy a NEW carseat, and check the manufacture date on the box and seat itself for a recent one, so you don't waste money on a carseat that's been sitting on the shelf already for 2 years. For more info, go to http://www.car-seat.org . This a great website for car safety info and suggestions on buying the right carseat for your needs. :)
*a good, comfortable baby carrier, such as a sling-style carrier, mei-tai, or wrap-style:
http://www.carryingaway.com.au/Default.asp?Redirected=Y
(A website with lots of info on different style carriers, it can help you figure out which one fits your needs best.) Wearning your baby during the early months is a great way to meet baby's needs for closeness & frequent nursing, while enhancing bonding and allowing mom the freedom to accomplish more than just baby care. :) A good carrier, IMO, is THE essestial piece of baby equipment, because you are going to spend an unbelievable amount of time over the next two years with a baby in your arms! ;)
After that, the necessities are pretty simple:
*diapers, either cloth or disposable, or both if you want to give both a try; wipes, either commercial ones, or plain soft cloths you can wet with plain water and/or a homemade gentle cleansing solution (search online for "homemade wipes solution" if interested)
*a foam pad or mesh "bouncy chair-like" seat for tub baths (infant baths are pretty much useless IME)
*clothes appropriate for the season; snap-crotch tees (onesie style), light socks, sweater, lightweight pants outfits, shorts or dresses, sun hat, diaper/swimsuit if you plan on swimming/water play, caps for indoors in A/C, etc. You don't need nearly as much as the books say-- maybe 5-6 onesies, 6-8 daytime outfits, 4-6 pj's, etc. Do buy lots of socks though because they seem to disappear easily.... ??
*burp cloths, which can be as simple as you like (plain white diapers) or as fancy, but anything absorbent will do.
*lightweight blanket to cover the carseat and offer shade from the sun, while in the car, or walking through parking lots, etc.
*about 4-6 receiving blankets for swaddling during the newborn stage
*baby nail clippers-- they are much safer & gentler on soft baby nails than adult clippers
*bulb syringe (nose sucker)-- the hospital will probably give you the one they use on your baby in the hospital, so don't go buy one until you're sure you need it.
*a sturdy bag to use as a diaper bag, whether it's specialized for babies and diapers, or simply a great bag that will hold up to a lot of abuse and wear & tear. My all-time favorite was a cheap $10 black leather backpack I picked up at Walgreen's on sale. It had a huge main compartment for diapers, wipes, & change of clothes, and several smaller pockets & pouches for the other baby care items I always kept on-hand.
Almost everything else can wait until after baby arrives, and you settle in and see what you really need, what you'll actually use, and then cross of the list all of those extra non-essentials that the rest of the world seems to be unable to live or raise a baby without, such as a crib, bassinett, playpen, swing, bouncy/vibrating/musical seat, stroller....
Our crib became obsolete when we decided early on that the baby would sleep in bed with us. A bassinett was useful occasionally to have someplace moveable to put the baby for naps, and could move it room to room, but I can't say whether we used it enough to make it worth the $$. Same with swings, playpens, baby seats, etc. They came in handy sometimes, especially with the babies who seemed to be more fussy than others (you can't hold them 24/7 after all), but they definitely were NOT something I would worry about spending money on *before* baby arrives. Once baby is here, you can get to know him/her, see what their personality is like, how high the baby's needs are for holding & comfort, etc. Then you can decide which of these accessories you really need. Maybe even borrow one from someone else to try out first before wasting $$ on something the baby doesn't even like.
I'm pretty much a minimalist; I don't believe in a lot of the bells & whistles that are on the market for babies these days, although some of them have their place and can come in handy. I would rather give my babies human contact & interaction, to stimulate them myself rather than have mobiles and blinky-light noisemakers do it instead.
Please also consider breastfeeding; not only will it save you tons of $$ on bottle paraphernalia, not to mention the formula itself, but I'm sure you already know that it is the healthiest thing for both you & baby as well. :) If you are interested, you should know that the best way to ensure that breastfeeding goes well is to educate yourself as much as possible before the birth, and to get a support system in place ahead of time so you can feel comfortable calling someone for help/support once your baby arrives. It's a lot easier to call someone you've met & have gotten to know to ask your nursing questions, than to decide to pick up the phone and call a complete stranger once things have *really* gotten bad. La Leche League meetings offer a wonderful opportunity for both-- information/education *plus* a support system. You can locate a LLL group/leader near you by either calling 1-800-LA LECHE, or checking their website here:
http://www.llli.org/webindex.html
Congratulations and best of luck! I hope this has been helpful to you!
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